"The Tale of Vark the Timid: How a Shakin' Goblin Saved a Big Ol' Brute"

Heh, listen close, 'cause this be a tale of how Vark the Timid, the scrawny little goblin with knees knockin' like bones on a drum, saved big ol' Scrog the Brutal from them sneaky Gnomes of Shadow Mountain. You won't believe it, but it's true, I swear on me grubby fingers!So, it all starts when Scrog, who's always thinkin' he's tougher than a troll with a toothache, decides to march right into Gnome territory. "Ain't no pint-sized puffballs gonna scare me!" he says, all puffed up like a toad ready to burst. But those gnomes, see, they ain't stupid. They're tricksy little things with pointy hats and sharp teeth, and they got magic, too! So, they lay a trap for ol' Scrog.Now, Vark, he ain't no fighter, but he's got ears like a bat and eyes like a bug in the dark. He hears Scrog bellowin' and bawlin' from the bottom of a deep, dark pit, surrounded by gnomes pokin' at him with sticks and throwin' rotten mushrooms at his head.Vark thinks to himself, "I ain't no hero, but if them gnomes take Scrog, who's gonna keep the bullies off me back?" So, he sneaks up, all quiet-like, with his knees still shakin' like jelly in a jar. He sees the gnomes dancin' around the pit, laughin' and cacklin', thinkin' they got themselves a fine goblin roast.But Vark, he ain't no dummy. He sees a pile of rocks, right by the edge of the pit, and he gets an idea. He starts throwin' them rocks at the gnomes, not to hurt 'em, mind you, but to get 'em all riled up. And riled up they get! The gnomes start chasin' Vark, screechin' and hollerin', but they can't catch him 'cause Vark's quick as a rat in a cheese shop.Vark leads them gnomes right up to the top of Shadow Mountain, where the wind howls like a banshee. He stops right at the edge, his toes danglin' over the cliff, and the gnomes, all angry and red-faced, rush at him. But just as they get close, Vark jumps outta the way, and those gnomes, well, they ain't got no time to stop. Over the edge they go, one after another, screamin' like banshees themselves as they tumble down the mountain.With the gnomes gone, Vark hurries back to the pit, finds a vine, and lowers it down to Scrog. "You get your big butt outta there, you oaf!" Vark whispers, still scared half to death.Scrog, he's bruised and battered, but when he climbs out and sees what Vark's done, he just gives a grunt. "Thanks, Vark. You ain't as useless as you look," he says.And that's how Vark the Timid saved Scrog the Brutal. Vark didn't get no medals, no cheers, but he did get somethin' better: Scrog stopped pushin' him around. Well, mostly. But hey, for a goblin, that's a win!